General Haitus

As of May 24, I began a general haitus from Mahjong Discord.  I needed to get away from there.  On that day, I had left for my Las Vegas trip to witness my nephew's high school graduation.  Regardless, I was advised to play no mahjong during that trip.

By this point in December, it is already near the end of the year.  What happened since then?

I could not stay away from any mahjong related activity.  I simply could not.  Part of this plan involved the creation of a second Discord account.  This was especially true pertaining to NARMA related activity and the recently new English Majsoul community.

Immediately upon my return from Las Vegas, I was slated to participate in the Catfood Bowl.  It was a opportunity to play in this exclusive tournament, and I could not pass it up.

As that tournament went on, someone formed a subgroup of Majsoul players.  Eventually, I ended up taking it over and we renamed to Connect Kan.  With this group, we've been playing some "pick up" tournaments; but eventually, they became slightly more organized with records and everything.  Regardless, we consider these as glorified friendlies.  This group became a collection of new mahjong friends mixed with some old mahjong friends.

I attended LAPOM's Saikouisen tournament.  I initially planned to not attend any tournament this year.  However, I was compelled to go; so I went.

My time away from Mahjong Discord was not 100%; as once in a while, I did pop in there.  However, I did not allow myself to interact with anyone in the chat channels, aside from the admin channel to make suggestions, and to deliver monthly messaging.

Eventually, I will return as that was part of the plan.  As to when?  I am looking to decide within the next year.  Why did I step away?

I was feeling some bits of general burn out, and it was getting amplified with some adverse emotional reactions.  A lot of this is self-imposed.  Initially, I viewed my self-imposed exile as a punishment.  Despite this, I kept playing mahjong and resumed my community level activity in a different direction.  I continued with Connect Kan.  Eventually, a few folks from Mahjong Discord joined in.

Overall, I question my future both my mahjong life and my real life.  Everyone reaches these life points at different times.  Ultimately, I have some decisions to make; and like everyone, the influences of past decisions affect today.  Regardless, the past is the past; and I have a future to build (or at least try to).  This is going to be very difficult; but at least, some hope is still around.

Someday, I may have to take this further.  At this point, a general break from online mahjong would feel like a good thing. It'll be a way to catch my breath and do a good mental reset.  Frequent online ranking play can take a toll on the mind.  My mind particularly feels the burn from ranked play.  Besides, my main focus really needs to be directed elsewhere.

When will this break be?  I don't know yet, but it will be a big break.  I will make a future post about that.  For certain though, the writing here will continue.  I have plenty of work to do here.  As for my mahjong club, my activity there must continue.  Naturally, my activity with my own mahjong club continued as normal.  For now, almost nothing can potentially keep me away from that.

With that said, I'm still thankful to mahjong for shaping me into who I am over the past 10 years.  I am also thankful to everyone classed as "friend".  Many of you know, who you are.  Under any auspice, it's still amazing how much time had elapsed with more to go.

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